1. bent-duck:

    meatloves:

    the cucumber saga

    I feel genuinely sorry for this kid’s mom

    I do not

    Also I’d like to remind people that you should never insert cucumbers without rigorous washing and hopefully use of a condom they have fibers that can cut you the fuck up

    And if you have a penis, a sex alternative for cucumbers is hollowing one out and using it as a make shit fleshlight! Just… Just be careful about the suction okay?

     
  2. 03:59

    Notes: 135803

    Reblogged from reallyssa

    image: Download

    courtneygodbey:

"Luna had decorated her bedroom ceiling with five beautifully painted faces: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville. They were not moving as the portraits at Hogwarts moved, but there was a certain magic about them all the same; Harry thought they breathed. What appeared to be fine golden chains wove around the pictures, linking them together, but after examining them for a minute or so, Harry realized that the chains were actually one word, repeated a thousand times in golden ink: friends…friends…friends…friends… Harry felt a great rush of affection for Luna" — Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows


THIS ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY AAAAAAHHHHH LUNA

    courtneygodbey:

    "Luna had decorated her bedroom ceiling with five beautifully painted faces: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville. They were not moving as the portraits at Hogwarts moved, but there was a certain magic about them all the same; Harry thought they breathed. What appeared to be fine golden chains wove around the pictures, linking them together, but after examining them for a minute or so, Harry realized that the chains were actually one word, repeated a thousand times in golden ink: friends…friends…friends…friends… Harry felt a great rush of affection for Luna" — Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

    THIS ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY AAAAAAHHHHH LUNA

     
  3. 03:58

    Notes: 22330

    Reblogged from lordtristamus

    image: Download

    imessaged:

when i was younger nobody wanted to mess with me and my squad

    imessaged:

    when i was younger nobody wanted to mess with me and my squad

     
  4. 03:56

    Notes: 148912

    Reblogged from lordtristamus

    sadsk8r:

    doctors: why are all your bones broken
    me: totally gnarly kick flip
    doctors: fucking savage bro

    You know who did the sickest flip 80s though? Jesus Christ our Lord and RADICAL Savior!

    (Source: nicenewt)

     
  5. 03:55

    Notes: 34331

    Reblogged from babylonsabby

    image: Download

    babylonsabby:

runningbox11:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

finthefish:

opkomstfout:

yoccu:

theyre watching the discovery channel

oh my god
I really love this piece so much
look at how much attention Equius and Nepeta are paying
and Jade is just being cute overall

“I think Jade is going to die soon.”
Ryan, wtf?
“Listen like… what if a MAJESTIC STALLION showed up on the TV…”
Yeah, and?
“… and Equius got a boner?”

sTOP

she’d end up just like bro

OH GOD, NO STOP, YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!

THIS WENT MAJESTIC WONDERFUL PLACES

    babylonsabby:

    runningbox11:

    ask-gallows-callibrator:

    finthefish:

    opkomstfout:

    yoccu:

    theyre watching the discovery channel

    oh my god

    I really love this piece so much

    look at how much attention Equius and Nepeta are paying

    and Jade is just being cute overall

    “I think Jade is going to die soon.”

    Ryan, wtf?

    “Listen like… what if a MAJESTIC STALLION showed up on the TV…”

    Yeah, and?

    “… and Equius got a boner?”

    sTOP

    she’d end up just like bro

    OH GOD, NO STOP, YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!

    THIS WENT MAJESTIC WONDERFUL PLACES

     
  6. 03:54

    Notes: 7863

    Reblogged from lordtristamus

    au where obama loses his memory and reconnects to his past lives

    1. Obama: Who am I?
    2. FDR: You are the president
    3. Obama: I dont know what that is
    4. Reagan: In order to remember you must regain your American spirit
    5. Lincoln: If you don't, tyranny will engulf the country and you will die
    6. Obama: How do I regain my American spirit?
    7. Clinton: Go to the beginnings. Find freedom
    8. -Washington Appears-
    9. Obama: Are you freedom?
    10. Washington: No, but I can help you find her
    11. Washington: My name is Washington, and i will show you how i became the first president
     
  7. GODAMMN MARCELINE

    (Source: lemonteaflower)

     
  8. 03:49

    Notes: 11309

    Reblogged from roboslap

    turned-into-a-fetus:

    Has anyone realized that in the manga, Edward Elric broke the forth wall? imageBecause I realized 

    Your goddamn hair Ed why

     
  9. 03:49

    Notes: 115

    Reblogged from roboslap

    miaouler:

    MY GOD I ACTUALLY MADE IT WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT??

    Adfjlskfjg I didn’t expect to actually hit 7k at all — let alone after sitting at 6500 for three solid months. Thank you everyone who has kindly followed me! To show my thanks, I’m starting up yet another giveaway. This one is shiny starters only! Three winners can pick shiny starters of their choice! Additional prizes have been tacked on to first and second place, of course. Read on to find out more!

    TERMS AND CONDITIONS///

    • First Place will receive three shiny starters of their choice along with one random shiny pokemon, also of their choice.
    • Second Place will receive two shiny starters of their choice along with one random pokemon of their choice.
    • Third Place will receive two shiny starters of their choice.
    • First and Second place winners can choose any pokemon that is currently available and can be caught in-game.
    • Please note that the following pokemon will not available options for prizes: Volcanion, Hoopa, Diancie, Yveltal, Xerneas, Zygarde, Keldeo, Meloetta, Genesect, Victini, Phione, Manaphy, Darkrai, Shaymin, Arceus, Jirachi, Deoxys, Celebi, and Mew (The Kalos legends were part of my last giveaway and therefore won’t be available this time).
    • I will not be offering out any specific natures this go around so please do not ask. Same terms go for the gender of the Pokemon you receive.
    • You must reblog this post in order to enter this giveaway. Likes don’t count as entries!
    • This Giveaway will end August 15, 2014 at 23:59 MST. Winners will be contacted after the giveaway ends and will have two days to respond. If they do not respond, then I will happily choose another person to take their prize in their place. Winners will be chosen through a number generator.

    You can reblog this giveaway as many times as you want! If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask. Good luck, and happy shiny hunting!

    - Miaouler

     
  10. 03:48

    Notes: 82964

    Reblogged from roboslap

     
  11. 03:47

    Notes: 149126

    Reblogged from kasterborian

    karlellis:

    mindonspeakers:

    An Oregon Couple Rushed Through Their Wedding Because Of A Wildfire

    and then managed to take the most beautiful photos

    Dude we go hard in our state

    (Source: BuzzFeed)

     
  12. 03:46

    Notes: 5337

    Reblogged from xichxliebexdichx

    Winter comes for all of us, Catelyn thought. For me, it came when Ned died. It will come for you too, child, and sooner than you like.

    (Source: jimbuckybarnes)

     
  13. 03:45

    Notes: 91497

    Reblogged from fleshphagus

    powerburial:

    i’m an activist for men’s frights. i dont think men are afraid often enough. i just want to give them a good scare once in a while. just spook some dudes.

     
  14. 03:44

    Notes: 4749

    Reblogged from kasterborian

    image: Download

    prospails:

I’m liking Aradia more and more each time I draw her.


Oooooooooh me likey a lot

    prospails:

    I’m liking Aradia more and more each time I draw her.

    Oooooooooh me likey a lot

     
  15. 03:44

    Notes: 663

    Reblogged from dogdongs

    Tags: jaaaaaadecutey

    image: Download

    chiumonster:

doodled my fave before crashing for the night! 

    chiumonster:

    doodled my fave before crashing for the night!